Tuesday, March 11, 2014

She Wants to Go Home, but "Nobody's Home"

Hey Everyone,
     So this song has been on my mind a lot lately and I really really love it and I think a lot of people will relate to it... at least I know I do. So this song is called "Nobody's Home" and it's by Avril Lavigne. It was the third single from her second album, "Under My Skin". The song was written by Avril and her friend at the time and ex- guitar player for Evanescence, Ben Moody. It's a really great song so let's go ahead and get into the lyrics!
     You can find them here. So this first verse is Avril talking about this girl and how she felt, but she doesn't say how this girl exactly felt because we will find that out later. But however this girl felt, she felt it every day. And it seems as though Avril tried to help her, but this girl wouldn't accept help. She just kept making the mistakes that made her feel the way she did. Then in this little pre-chorus bit, she says what people probably ask this girl all the time, "what's wrong, what's wrong now?". And this is a  statement that people who are emotionally unstable get all the time. "What's wrong?" Well the thing about that is that there very well could be nothing really wrong. But in the song her response is "too many problems".
And then we find out how this girl feels. She doesn't know where she belongs. She has run away not only from her home but from her problems. But this only created more problems for her. And she wants to go home. This isn't necessarily that she wants to go back home to her family and whatnot but digging deeper we can think about how she wants to go back to her life before things got difficult for her or before she became, as we see in the chorus, broken inside. But she knows somehow that she can't, that there is no one waiting for her, or nothing for her to return to. We don't know exactly what broke this girl, but we know she is broken. She feels unwanted and like she has nowhere to go where people will care about her. I think that's this girl's main problem. She thinks that no one cares.
The second verse here goes into more detail about what I just said. Avril is telling this girl to take a real hard look at herself and her life. And for her to think about why she has done the things she has to herself and to the people around her. This girl feels rejected by everyone and even if she wants to find her old self, what she left behind, she cannot. So then in the pre-chorus again I think it switches to this girl talking to herself and telling herself to be strong, but she thinks she can't be strong because she has too many problems. Then it goes into this little bridge part. So she hides how she really feels and she doesn't feel like the same person. She has lost whatever ambition she had because she thinks she doesn't deserve it. She has completely lost herself.
     So by now I would guess that you have all figured out that this girl has some mental disorders (my guesses are depression and some anxiety and probably abandonment/commitment issues). And what I want you to get from reading this is that you're not alone. Because someone out there has felt the exact same way that you feel right now. And it's okay to feel that way. Because trust me someone cares. It might not seem like it right now, but SOMEONE does I promise you.

Love to all,
-Autumn the Music Girl

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

It's Time to Just "Let it Go"

Hey Everyone,
     So I just went to see Disney's newest masterpiece the other day, "Frozen". It's really an amazing movie and definitely my newest second favorite Disney movie ever. And I would say that by far my favorite song in this movie is "Let it Go" performed by none other than Idina Menzel. For those of you who don't know, Idina Menzel is a renowned actress, voice actress, singer, and songwriter. She first rose to fame by playing Maureen Johnson in the Broadway musical "Rent" and it even landed her the part in the film reproduction. She also originated the role of Elphaba in the Broadway musical Wicked. She then starred in Glee as Rachel Berry's biological mother, Shelby Corcoran, and then she did the voice of the Snow Queen Elsa in "Frozen".
     In the movie, Elsa has ice/snow powers that she has kept a secret and when she gets angry they become hard to control and just as she is crowned queen, she loses control and shows everyone her powers. Ashamed of her self, she basically runs away to the mountains thinking she can just disappear and use her powers freely without hurting anybody. When she comes to this conclusion, she sings this song. So now that you understand the context, let's jump into the lyrics!
   So you can find the lyrics here. In this first verse, she is talking about how she feels totally isolated and the way she feels about it at first isn't so good. And there is a "storm" so to speak inside of her regarding her powers because they are a part of who she is that she has tried to keep hidden for a really long time. But it got to the point where she just couldn't anymore. Then she talks about how she had to keep it in for so long and her parents had always told her this line "conceal, don't feel". And just as far as like emotions go, this is NEVER a good idea. And it wasn't a good idea for Elsa either. Covering up how you feel makes it harder and harder to keep them concealed and eventually they will all burst out just like her powers did. And then everyone knew. So then she has this realization that she can finally let it all go. She realizes that she can leave behind this whole idea of concealing her true self and start a new life. She's "slamming the door" on who she used to have to be.

And she stops caring about what people think or tell her about herself and her powers. She never had a problem with it to begin with! So now that she has put some distance between her new life and her old life she is able to see clearly that she was ruled by fear in the past and she wouldn't allow herself to be ruled by it anymore. And now she is just going to explore herself and her own power and she won't be limited by rules made by others. She is going to make her own rules for her life. In this second chorus she says she is "one with the wind and sky". I think that this not only refers to her powers of ice and snow but also to her finally feeling like she is who she is supposed to be. She feels like she is natural now and not forced to be someone she is not. And she is stronger now because of this, hence "you'll never see me cry".
And then it goes to this scene where she is really using her powers and she is really letting herself go and her power and soul and thoughts all come out at once in this beautiful way and it really shows how she finally becomes her true self and she says "the past is in the past". This has always been a very powerful statement. And it's also very true. The past is in the past and there is nothing you can do to change it. All you can do is learn from it and move on from it. Then this last chorus is really really powerful. She says that she will "rise like the break of dawn". This really shows how she has discovered her own internal power as an individual and she realizes that she isn't perfect like everyone wants her to be. Nobody is perfect but feeling like you have to live up to some perfect expectation is really really hard and takes an enormous toll on you but now she is free of all of that. And before it was like a darkness in her life and now that she is out of that environment she is in the "light of day". And she finally understands and accepts herself for who she is despite what other people think or say or who other people want her to be.

     I hope that you all learned something from this song. I love it and I find it to be very empowering and it relates to a lot of different situations in life. But overall I want you all to know that it is perfectly okay to be who you are and be confident in that person. Screw other people. Live your own life! Make your own destiny and your own rules because despite what other people tell you, your life is your own.
Love to all,
Autumn the Music Girl

Thursday, February 27, 2014

How to Write a Successful Blog!

Hey Everyone,
 So this is a little different from usual. It's actually a request from my wonderful teacher, Mr. Elkin! He asked if I would write a blog post about how to write a pretty good blog, and seeing as my blog is pretty good, I said "why not?" So here we are!
     I figured the best way to do this was to go step by step. I'll tell you the main things to do and give you some examples. I hope that if you are a first time blogger that this helps you out!

  1. Pick a topic. It can be anything really. But it should be something that you know a lot about or you at least know you can talk about for a long time. And don't be afraid to get a little weird with your topic, just not TOO weird. For example if you are really passionate about dogs, you could write your blog about dogs and how to take care of different breeds, or different breeds' characteristics. Or if you're really passionate about cooking, you could have a blog where you try different recipes and review them. Stuff like that! Or give advice to people somehow. I feel like that is the point of most blogs despite the topic, just talk about something that you find interesting or helpful and try to get that out to other people. 
  2. Find your audience. When you're writing a blog, you're typically aiming it at a specific group. Your topic shouldn't be too broad because then you'll have a lot of competition for readers with other, bigger, more popular blogs. But then again it shouldn't be too specific either. You have to kind of find your little niche. And most of all once you have decided both of these things, you need to stick with it!
  3. Now it's time to Start Writing! This part if you have done the first two steps properly should actually be pretty easy. My best advice is to be yourself and write like yourself! What I mean by that is just sort of write, how you talk, so that you sound - like you! This will make you seem much more honest and will make your blog stand out more as unique because of your unique voice. Also, try to stay positive and stick with your topic. You don't want to just post some random rant at 2am and lose a bunch of readers. I'm not saying you can't rant about your life, just do it in a way that sticks to your topic! Also make sure that you are consistent with your blog. That's really important because if you aren't determined or persistent then you won't really get into it. To be honest, the more you do it, the more fun it is! 
Another tip for blogging is you want to break up your posts. Writing a lot is wonderful, but when someone looks at a page and sees this:
the interest goes away immediately. Make sure your blog is well designed and eye-catching and put in pictures or something of that nature to break up your post. That way even when you write a ton like I do, it doesn't make you want to instantly click off the page because it's just one huge block of text! Keep things fun and interesting!
     Once you follow those steps, you'll be good to go! You'll have a beautiful and interesting blog and you'll be sure to be successful! I hope this helped you and if you have any questions at all about blogging feel free to leave a comment below and I will try to help you as best I can!
Love to all!
-Autumn the Music Girl

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Just Give Me A "Chelsea Smile"

     So I'm kind of done with all the sappy songs for now and I'm getting back into some of my more hardcore stuff. Which is why I'm going back to some Bring Me the Horizon especially because I am probably going to go see them next month with Of  Mice & Men in San Francisco! Can't wait!
     So this is probably one of their biggest songs Bring Me The Horizon has ever had and it's from their "Suicide Season" album, and it's called "Chelsea Smile". The video for this song was released on August 15, 2008. However it was not officially released as a single until January 19, 2009. Fun fact about this album, it received rather mixed reviews from people who didn't like their change of style from the "Count Your Blessings" album, and when they went to perform songs from this album, they had bottles thrown at them before their set even started.
     Okay so now for the lyrics and stuff.  You can find them here. Okay so first thing you notice is that he is talking about some secret he has that he won't tell another person which could also mean that he isn't telling anyone what this secret is, at least not directly. Then in this first verse he refers to this secret and how it's actually pretty hard for him to keep it, how it eats away at him, whatever this thing is. And whatever it is is consuming him, he feels like he is just falling. Then we find out that this secret he is keeping could have something to do with a disease he has... have you figured it out yet? If you guessed depression then DING DING DING!!! You're correct!!! Because depression is a mental disease basically that eats away at you slowly, just like he is describing. People tell you to think positively and "count your blessings" but he says he has done that and now he will "count this curse" which is really interesting because really, depression is like a curse. it affects every single aspect of your life.
It makes you hate who you are and regret just about everything, which is why he says "I'm buried and breathing in regret".  Then he repeats the secret, because most people who suffer from depression don't want people to know how they're suffering, they try to keep it a secret for several reasons. Sometimes it's because they don't want people to worry or they think people won't care or they are ashamed of the way they feel. And they hide it a lot of the time, just like he says here that he might seem happy but none of it is genuine,

And there are always people waiting for you to fall. He puts on an act a lot of the time but that's all it is and he knows that if he lets the truth show, some people will jump on him and make fun of him for being weak because of this depression. And once they find out his "shame" it's like he is being attacked by the "vultures".
     Then it goes into this part where he repeats "repent! repent!" and I think that part is about how some people of religion will try and bring God to someone suffering in this way and some people even say that you suffer from depression because you don't have God. Now, I'm not going to go into religious debate but personally I think that religion is a choice and we all have a right to that choice, so don't be like how he is describing in this song, screaming at everyone to repent, okay?
     So then he goes into this little bit about how all of us hide things and feel things that we wish we didn't. We all get a little depressed sometimes. But for the people who suffer from the actual chemical imbalance known as depression, it drags you down and drowns you like he says here. It is overwhelming and consuming and everything seems hopeless. And then he makes another religious comment about how if he doesn't believe in God, why would God believe in him? Again, not going to go into a religious debate. And then he repeats the chorus about his secret.
     As someone who has suffered from very severe depression, I believe I know what I am talking about when I say all of this. Yes, depression is different for everyone who has it but the underlying feelings are pretty much the same. Knowing this, trust me when I say it gets better. Sometimes it gets better on its own and sometimes you need a little help. Talking to someone helps, even if its embarassing or you have a hard time trusting people... talking to someone about what you're going through and how you feel, really does wonders as long as you are completely honest. And if that isn't enough, talking to someone about maybe getting on some medication also really helps. Sometimes it really is about your brain and not having enough seratonin or dopamine and having something that will balance out your brain chemistry is really helpful! I know from experience!
     Above all, know that you're not alone. That's why I love bands like this and why I love music. Because even when you feel like you are the only person to ever experience what you are experiencing, music shows you that you aren't!
Love to All,
-Autumn the Music Girl

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Let You Go, And Let "The Lonely" In...

Hey Everyone,
     Well things in my life have taken a dramatic and lonely turn so I've decided to stick with my Christina Perri streak and go with her song "The Lonely" for this week's blog post. This song was released as the first promotional single for her album, "Lovestrong". It was released to iTunes on March 29, 2011. The lyric video was posted to YouTube the following day. The lyric video for this song is one of my favorites and I hope you all watch it after reading this, because it will be posted below! Now as for the inspiration for this song, Christina Perri has said:
"It's lonely personified. It’s my relationship with no one, and I’m very happy I kept it superdramatic and simple at the same time. It’s me, a piano, plus a nineteen-piece orchestra."
And with that, let's get into the lyrics!
     You can find them here. So this first verse here depicts a scene of this woman who is very damaged and completely consumed in the loneliness she feels. It keeps her up at night, to the point where she doesn't even know what to do. And in this little pre-chorus part, which I think is a vital portion of the song, she talks about how she is losing herself. She's becoming a person she no longer recognizes because of this brokenness she feels about herself.
So then she goes in to talk further about her experience with this. She feels so lonely, like she is "dancing slowly in an empty room", which is a really sad image when you think about it. I even picture it in like, black and white. Feeling like a sad song is playing in your head and you are so alone and you don't know what to do besides dance to it, but you just wish more than anything that someone would be there to dance with you. And from the next line it seems like she had someone to "dance" with her before, but whoever that was left her. And she wonders if this overwhelming loneliness will be able to fill her heart to some extent and replace the love of this person. And this last part really shows how she is accepting that this person is gone. And this girl is afraid of her own emotions. Which is pretty common especially in females because emotions are powerful and can be very overwhelming and it can make you not want to deal with them. And that is what she is expressing here. She is scared to feel her own pain and sadness because she doesn't want to let this loneliness consume her but at the same time she knows that it's pointless to fight it. And that's when she sort of gives up, which I feel is really expressed in the lines "But the loneliness will stay with me, and hold me 'till I fall asleep". And she reiterates that she doesn't know what she is becoming.
And that's when this little bridge portion comes in. She feels like she's sort of fading away without the love of this person who left her. She feels like she's dying a little bit every day- "barely breathing". And she feels abandoned and she doesn't know what to do or how to deal with it or accept it. She is broken. So she lets the lonely take over.
     As sad as that may be, that is the end. Now as far as advice, I would say a few things. First, don't think that you can just replace lost love, at least not right away. There will be a missing piece there for a while. But it's normal and we all go through it. Second, even when you feel like no one understands, someone does, so you don't have to go through it alone. Third, yes, your loneliness may be overwhelming for a while, but as is often said, this too shall pass. Life never stays the same. There are ups and downs and though this may be a really really low down, you WILL go back up. Know that you will not always be alone. The lonely will leave as swiftly as it came and you will be okay. I promise.
Love to all,
-Autumn the Music Girl

Monday, February 3, 2014

You Put Your "Arms" Around Me And I'm Home

Hey Everyone,
     So like I said I am sort of obsessing over Christina Perri and this song is also one of my favorites off of her album, "Lovestrong". It's called "Arms". It was released as a single on March 15, 2011 and was the second single to be released from the album. Its a very beautiful and happy sounding song, built around a piano melody. As for the song meaning, Christina has talked about it pretty in depth, saying:
"'Arms' is about the fight between your heart and your mind. Your heart wants to be loved but your head is always telling you reasons not to be with him or her, or how you are not worth the love. It's about the struggle and finally giving in when you're wrapped in their arms. Then you get it. Then you feel loved and love wins."
I definitely agree with this message and I will go into depth with it so I hope you like it!
     You can find the lyrics here. So this song starts off really sweetly, saying that she basically didn't expect this guy to come around and make her feel loved. Then she thinks that she doesn't deserve it and that it would be easier on him if he just left, but then she realizes how great she feels with him. Then she talks about how she can't decide what to listen to- her heart or her head. And he knows about this battle she is having but he is staying, which is a different thing for her. She can't decide how this change is going to affect her or how she's going to deal with what's going on in her mind. She knows she can be happy with him... like, REALLY happy. But she also has this idea in her head that she doesn't deserve it so she might just drown in her own internal battle over this whole issue and miss out on a really amazing and beautiful relationship. She knows that she has put walls up against love but she hopes that he is different and is able to get past them.
She can feel herself already starting to fall in love with him and she has never really been that close with another person before because she hasn't ever felt like she deserved it. She has always pushed them away and gone with the side of her that says "you aren't worth him". But with him, she's thinking that it's different. Then of course while she is dealing with this war in her head, there are other stressful things going on in her life making her feel even more worthless. Maybe people are criticizing her relationship or just criticizing her and in her mind, they're right. And she realizes how important this guy is to her and she could see herself spending the rest of her life with him, but she's scared of herself and her anxiety and her issues with her self-worth and she doesn't want him to have to deal with all of that. And then she repeats the chorus and stuff and then this little bridge part comes up where she talks about how she didn't want him to see the side of her that is dealing with all of this and she's never let another person get so close to her and she knows now that she is in love with him and she doesn't know what she would do without him. And like Christina herself said, love wins.
     I think this is a rather moving story, really. Because it shows that though you may have your doubts about your own self worth, everyone deserves love and if he really loves you, he won't leave or get freaked out by your anxieties. He will be there for you and care for you and when you're in his arms you'll realize that you finally feel home and everything will be okay. Love will win, because love always wins.
Love to you all,
-Autumn the Music Girl

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

I'll Make Sure To Keep My "Distance"

Hey Everyone,
     So on my winter break I got off on a little bit of an obsession with Christina Perri, who is an amazing artist and this is my absolute favorite song on her album, "Lovestrong" and it's called "Distance". It's a really beautiful song and one I think will speak to a lot of people.
     You can find the lyrics here. As far as Christina's inspiration for the song, she has said this:
"I wrote it about being in love with someone and not being able to tell them. All of my songs are so specific. They're a story in my life or something I went through which I pull from. I wrote this about the summer of 2010. I fell in love with someone, and we had to work pretty closely together. I had to pretend I didn't like him which was the hardest thing for me because I'm not good at lying [Laughs]. The song is about the feelings and swimming in that kind of tension when you're around someone and trying to keep it cool. That's what it means for me. Instead of telling him I loved him, I wrote it to him in a song. That's where I go."
 So the story of the song here starts off as she is waking up with this person and she wakes up before him. She realizes that she loves him but doesn't know if he feels the same way. Sometimes she wishes that they didn't ever see each other because she thinks maybe it'd be easier that way. And she mentions that he has all different names for what is happening between them but she is afraid to say how she really feels and tell him she's in love and she thinks maybe he is too. She's scared to take things faster than he is ready for because she doesn't want to lose him but she can't help the way she feels. And she wants to know how much longer they can go on with neither of them saying how they really feel.
She talks about how when she is near him, it's hard for her to even breathe.  And she is afraid that maybe he knows how she feels and that maybe he sees it but doesn't return the feeling. But she still gives him every part of her, and loves him unconditionally, hoping he does the same. And she just keeps waiting for him to say how he really feels and realize how amazing they could be together, and until then she will just keep things the way they are.
     This is a rather complicated subject. Because honestly things could go many different ways in this situation. You could admit how you feel and scare him away but in that instance, he isn't worth your love if he's going to be scared by it. You could keep quiet and miss out on something potentially amazing. You could say how you feel and get the same response from him and have something amazing. Like I said, it could go many different ways. No matter what happens I think that if you're in this situation you should say how you feel and if it's meant to be then it's meant to be. There is nothing you can do to change fate. If you just accept that, everything will be fine.

Much Love,
-Autumn the Music Girl