So this song has been on my mind a lot lately and I really really love it and I think a lot of people will relate to it... at least I know I do. So this song is called "Nobody's Home" and it's by Avril Lavigne. It was the third single from her second album, "Under My Skin". The song was written by Avril and her friend at the time and ex- guitar player for Evanescence, Ben Moody. It's a really great song so let's go ahead and get into the lyrics!
You can find them here. So this first verse is Avril talking about this girl and how she felt, but she doesn't say how this girl exactly felt because we will find that out later. But however this girl felt, she felt it every day. And it seems as though Avril tried to help her, but this girl wouldn't accept help. She just kept making the mistakes that made her feel the way she did. Then in this little pre-chorus bit, she says what people probably ask this girl all the time, "what's wrong, what's wrong now?". And this is a statement that people who are emotionally unstable get all the time. "What's wrong?" Well the thing about that is that there very well could be nothing really wrong. But in the song her response is "too many problems".
And then we find out how this girl feels. She doesn't know where she belongs. She has run away not only from her home but from her problems. But this only created more problems for her. And she wants to go home. This isn't necessarily that she wants to go back home to her family and whatnot but digging deeper we can think about how she wants to go back to her life before things got difficult for her or before she became, as we see in the chorus, broken inside. But she knows somehow that she can't, that there is no one waiting for her, or nothing for her to return to. We don't know exactly what broke this girl, but we know she is broken. She feels unwanted and like she has nowhere to go where people will care about her. I think that's this girl's main problem. She thinks that no one cares.
The second verse here goes into more detail about what I just said. Avril is telling this girl to take a real hard look at herself and her life. And for her to think about why she has done the things she has to herself and to the people around her. This girl feels rejected by everyone and even if she wants to find her old self, what she left behind, she cannot. So then in the pre-chorus again I think it switches to this girl talking to herself and telling herself to be strong, but she thinks she can't be strong because she has too many problems. Then it goes into this little bridge part. So she hides how she really feels and she doesn't feel like the same person. She has lost whatever ambition she had because she thinks she doesn't deserve it. She has completely lost herself.
So by now I would guess that you have all figured out that this girl has some mental disorders (my guesses are depression and some anxiety and probably abandonment/commitment issues). And what I want you to get from reading this is that you're not alone. Because someone out there has felt the exact same way that you feel right now. And it's okay to feel that way. Because trust me someone cares. It might not seem like it right now, but SOMEONE does I promise you.
So I just went to see Disney's newest masterpiece the other day, "Frozen". It's really an amazing movie and definitely my newest second favorite Disney movie ever. And I would say that by far my favorite song in this movie is "Let it Go" performed by none other than Idina Menzel. For those of you who don't know, Idina Menzel is a renowned actress, voice actress, singer, and songwriter. She first rose to fame by playing Maureen Johnson in the Broadway musical "Rent" and it even landed her the part in the film reproduction. She also originated the role of Elphaba in the Broadway musical Wicked. She then starred in Glee as Rachel Berry's biological mother, Shelby Corcoran, and then she did the voice of the Snow Queen Elsa in "Frozen".
In the movie, Elsa has ice/snow powers that she has kept a secret and when she gets angry they become hard to control and just as she is crowned queen, she loses control and shows everyone her powers. Ashamed of her self, she basically runs away to the mountains thinking she can just disappear and use her powers freely without hurting anybody. When she comes to this conclusion, she sings this song. So now that you understand the context, let's jump into the lyrics!
So you can find the lyrics here. In this first verse, she is talking about how she feels totally isolated and the way she feels about it at first isn't so good. And there is a "storm" so to speak inside of her regarding her powers because they are a part of who she is that she has tried to keep hidden for a really long time. But it got to the point where she just couldn't anymore. Then she talks about how she had to keep it in for so long and her parents had always told her this line "conceal, don't feel". And just as far as like emotions go, this is NEVER a good idea. And it wasn't a good idea for Elsa either. Covering up how you feel makes it harder and harder to keep them concealed and eventually they will all burst out just like her powers did. And then everyone knew. So then she has this realization that she can finally let it all go. She realizes that she can leave behind this whole idea of concealing her true self and start a new life. She's "slamming the door" on who she used to have to be.
And she stops caring about what people think or tell her about herself and her powers. She never had a problem with it to begin with! So now that she has put some distance between her new life and her old life she is able to see clearly that she was ruled by fear in the past and she wouldn't allow herself to be ruled by it anymore. And now she is just going to explore herself and her own power and she won't be limited by rules made by others. She is going to make her own rules for her life. In this second chorus she says she is "one with the wind and sky". I think that this not only refers to her powers of ice and snow but also to her finally feeling like she is who she is supposed to be. She feels like she is natural now and not forced to be someone she is not. And she is stronger now because of this, hence "you'll never see me cry".
And then it goes to this scene where she is really using her powers and she is really letting herself go and her power and soul and thoughts all come out at once in this beautiful way and it really shows how she finally becomes her true self and she says "the past is in the past". This has always been a very powerful statement. And it's also very true. The past is in the past and there is nothing you can do to change it. All you can do is learn from it and move on from it. Then this last chorus is really really powerful. She says that she will "rise like the break of dawn". This really shows how she has discovered her own internal power as an individual and she realizes that she isn't perfect like everyone wants her to be. Nobody is perfect but feeling like you have to live up to some perfect expectation is really really hard and takes an enormous toll on you but now she is free of all of that. And before it was like a darkness in her life and now that she is out of that environment she is in the "light of day". And she finally understands and accepts herself for who she is despite what other people think or say or who other people want her to be.
I hope that you all learned something from this song. I love it and I find it to be very empowering and it relates to a lot of different situations in life. But overall I want you all to know that it is perfectly okay to be who you are and be confident in that person. Screw other people. Live your own life! Make your own destiny and your own rules because despite what other people tell you, your life is your own.
Love to all,
Autumn the Music Girl
So this is a little different from usual. It's actually a request from my wonderful teacher, Mr. Elkin! He asked if I would write a blog post about how to write a pretty good blog, and seeing as my blog is pretty good, I said "why not?" So here we are!
I figured the best way to do this was to go step by step. I'll tell you the main things to do and give you some examples. I hope that if you are a first time blogger that this helps you out!
Pick a topic. It can be anything really. But it should be something that you know a lot about or you at least know you can talk about for a long time. And don't be afraid to get a little weird with your topic, just not TOO weird. For example if you are really passionate about dogs, you could write your blog about dogs and how to take care of different breeds, or different breeds' characteristics. Or if you're really passionate about cooking, you could have a blog where you try different recipes and review them. Stuff like that! Or give advice to people somehow. I feel like that is the point of most blogs despite the topic, just talk about something that you find interesting or helpful and try to get that out to other people.
Find your audience. When you're writing a blog, you're typically aiming it at a specific group. Your topic shouldn't be too broad because then you'll have a lot of competition for readers with other, bigger, more popular blogs. But then again it shouldn't be too specific either. You have to kind of find your little niche. And most of all once you have decided both of these things, you need to stick with it!
Now it's time to Start Writing! This part if you have done the first two steps properly should actually be pretty easy. My best advice is to be yourself and write like yourself! What I mean by that is just sort of write, how you talk, so that you sound - like you! This will make you seem much more honest and will make your blog stand out more as unique because of your unique voice. Also, try to stay positive and stick with your topic. You don't want to just post some random rant at 2am and lose a bunch of readers. I'm not saying you can't rant about your life, just do it in a way that sticks to your topic! Also make sure that you are consistent with your blog. That's really important because if you aren't determined or persistent then you won't really get into it. To be honest, the more you do it, the more fun it is!
Another tip for blogging is you want to break up your posts. Writing a lot is wonderful, but when someone looks at a page and sees this:
the interest goes away immediately. Make sure your blog is well designed and eye-catching and put in pictures or something of that nature to break up your post. That way even when you write a ton like I do, it doesn't make you want to instantly click off the page because it's just one huge block of text! Keep things fun and interesting!
Once you follow those steps, you'll be good to go! You'll have a beautiful and interesting blog and you'll be sure to be successful! I hope this helped you and if you have any questions at all about blogging feel free to leave a comment below and I will try to help you as best I can!
Love to all!
-Autumn the Music Girl
So I'm kind of done with all the sappy songs for now and I'm getting back into some of my more hardcore stuff. Which is why I'm going back to some Bring Me the Horizon especially because I am probably going to go see them next month with Of Mice & Men in San Francisco! Can't wait!
So this is probably one of their biggest songs Bring Me The Horizon has ever had and it's from their "Suicide Season" album, and it's called "Chelsea Smile". The video for this song was released on August 15, 2008. However it was not officially released as a single until January 19, 2009. Fun fact about this album, it received rather mixed reviews from people who didn't like their change of style from the "Count Your Blessings" album, and when they went to perform songs from this album, they had bottles thrown at them before their set even started.
Okay so now for the lyrics and stuff. You can find them here. Okay so first thing you notice is that he is talking about some secret he has that he won't tell another person which could also mean that he isn't telling anyone what this secret is, at least not directly. Then in this first verse he refers to this secret and how it's actually pretty hard for him to keep it, how it eats away at him, whatever this thing is. And whatever it is is consuming him, he feels like he is just falling. Then we find out that this secret he is keeping could have something to do with a disease he has... have you figured it out yet? If you guessed depression then DING DING DING!!! You're correct!!! Because depression is a mental disease basically that eats away at you slowly, just like he is describing. People tell you to think positively and "count your blessings" but he says he has done that and now he will "count this curse" which is really interesting because really, depression is like a curse. it affects every single aspect of your life.
It makes you hate who you are and regret just about everything, which is why he says "I'm buried and breathing in regret". Then he repeats the secret, because most people who suffer from depression don't want people to know how they're suffering, they try to keep it a secret for several reasons. Sometimes it's because they don't want people to worry or they think people won't care or they are ashamed of the way they feel. And they hide it a lot of the time, just like he says here that he might seem happy but none of it is genuine,
And there are always people waiting for you to fall. He puts on an act a lot of the time but that's all it is and he knows that if he lets the truth show, some people will jump on him and make fun of him for being weak because of this depression. And once they find out his "shame" it's like he is being attacked by the "vultures".
Then it goes into this part where he repeats "repent! repent!" and I think that part is about how some people of religion will try and bring God to someone suffering in this way and some people even say that you suffer from depression because you don't have God. Now, I'm not going to go into religious debate but personally I think that religion is a choice and we all have a right to that choice, so don't be like how he is describing in this song, screaming at everyone to repent, okay?
So then he goes into this little bit about how all of us hide things and feel things that we wish we didn't. We all get a little depressed sometimes. But for the people who suffer from the actual chemical imbalance known as depression, it drags you down and drowns you like he says here. It is overwhelming and consuming and everything seems hopeless. And then he makes another religious comment about how if he doesn't believe in God, why would God believe in him? Again, not going to go into a religious debate. And then he repeats the chorus about his secret.
As someone who has suffered from very severe depression, I believe I know what I am talking about when I say all of this. Yes, depression is different for everyone who has it but the underlying feelings are pretty much the same. Knowing this, trust me when I say it gets better. Sometimes it gets better on its own and sometimes you need a little help. Talking to someone helps, even if its embarassing or you have a hard time trusting people... talking to someone about what you're going through and how you feel, really does wonders as long as you are completely honest. And if that isn't enough, talking to someone about maybe getting on some medication also really helps. Sometimes it really is about your brain and not having enough seratonin or dopamine and having something that will balance out your brain chemistry is really helpful! I know from experience!
Above all, know that you're not alone. That's why I love bands like this and why I love music. Because even when you feel like you are the only person to ever experience what you are experiencing, music shows you that you aren't!
Well things in my life have taken a dramatic and lonely turn so I've decided to stick with my Christina Perri streak and go with her song "The Lonely" for this week's blog post. This song was released as the first promotional single for her album, "Lovestrong". It was released to iTunes on March 29, 2011. The lyric video was posted to YouTube the following day. The lyric video for this song is one of my favorites and I hope you all watch it after reading this, because it will be posted below! Now as for the inspiration for this song, Christina Perri has said:
"It's lonely personified. It’s my relationship with no one, and I’m very
happy I kept it superdramatic and simple at the same time. It’s me, a
piano, plus a nineteen-piece orchestra."
And with that, let's get into the lyrics!
You can find them here. So this first verse here depicts a scene of this woman who is very damaged and completely consumed in the loneliness she feels. It keeps her up at night, to the point where she doesn't even know what to do. And in this little pre-chorus part, which I think is a vital portion of the song, she talks about how she is losing herself. She's becoming a person she no longer recognizes because of this brokenness she feels about herself.
So then she goes in to talk further about her experience with this. She feels so lonely, like she is "dancing slowly in an empty room", which is a really sad image when you think about it. I even picture it in like, black and white. Feeling like a sad song is playing in your head and you are so alone and you don't know what to do besides dance to it, but you just wish more than anything that someone would be there to dance with you. And from the next line it seems like she had someone to "dance" with her before, but whoever that was left her. And she wonders if this overwhelming loneliness will be able to fill her heart to some extent and replace the love of this person. And this last part really shows how she is accepting that this person is gone. And this girl is afraid of her own emotions. Which is pretty common especially in females because emotions are powerful and can be very overwhelming and it can make you not want to deal with them. And that is what she is expressing here. She is scared to feel her own pain and sadness because she doesn't want to let this loneliness consume her but at the same time she knows that it's pointless to fight it. And that's when she sort of gives up, which I feel is really expressed in the lines "But the loneliness will stay with me, and hold me 'till I fall asleep". And she reiterates that she doesn't know what she is becoming.
And that's when this little bridge portion comes in. She feels like she's sort of fading away without the love of this person who left her. She feels like she's dying a little bit every day- "barely breathing". And she feels abandoned and she doesn't know what to do or how to deal with it or accept it. She is broken. So she lets the lonely take over.
As sad as that may be, that is the end. Now as far as advice, I would say a few things. First, don't think that you can just replace lost love, at least not right away. There will be a missing piece there for a while. But it's normal and we all go through it. Second, even when you feel like no one understands, someone does, so you don't have to go through it alone. Third, yes, your loneliness may be overwhelming for a while, but as is often said, this too shall pass. Life never stays the same. There are ups and downs and though this may be a really really low down, you WILL go back up. Know that you will not always be alone. The lonely will leave as swiftly as it came and you will be okay. I promise.
Love to all,
-Autumn the Music Girl
So like I said I am sort of obsessing over Christina Perri and this song is also one of my favorites off of her album, "Lovestrong". It's called "Arms". It was released as a single on March 15, 2011 and was the second single to be released from the album. Its a very beautiful and happy sounding song, built around a piano melody. As for the song meaning, Christina has talked about it pretty in depth, saying:
"'Arms' is about the fight between your heart and your mind. Your heart wants to be loved but your head is always telling you reasons not to be with him or her, or how you are not worth the love. It's about the struggle and finally giving in when you're wrapped in their arms. Then you get it. Then you feel loved and love wins."
I definitely agree with this message and I will go into depth with it so I hope you like it!
You can find the lyrics here. So this song starts off really sweetly, saying that she basically didn't expect this guy to come around and make her feel loved. Then she thinks that she doesn't deserve it and that it would be easier on him if he just left, but then she realizes how great she feels with him. Then she talks about how she can't decide what to listen to- her heart or her head. And he knows about this battle she is having but he is staying, which is a different thing for her. She can't decide how this change is going to affect her or how she's going to deal with what's going on in her mind. She knows she can be happy with him... like, REALLY happy. But she also has this idea in her head that she doesn't deserve it so she might just drown in her own internal battle over this whole issue and miss out on a really amazing and beautiful relationship. She knows that she has put walls up against love but she hopes that he is different and is able to get past them.
She can feel herself already starting to fall in love with him and she has never really been that close with another person before because she hasn't ever felt like she deserved it. She has always pushed them away and gone with the side of her that says "you aren't worth him". But with him, she's thinking that it's different. Then of course while she is dealing with this war in her head, there are other stressful things going on in her life making her feel even more worthless. Maybe people are criticizing her relationship or just criticizing her and in her mind, they're right. And she realizes how important this guy is to her and she could see herself spending the rest of her life with him, but she's scared of herself and her anxiety and her issues with her self-worth and she doesn't want him to have to deal with all of that. And then she repeats the chorus and stuff and then this little bridge part comes up where she talks about how she didn't want him to see the side of her that is dealing with all of this and she's never let another person get so close to her and she knows now that she is in love with him and she doesn't know what she would do without him. And like Christina herself said, love wins.
I think this is a rather moving story, really. Because it shows that though you may have your doubts about your own self worth, everyone deserves love and if he really loves you, he won't leave or get freaked out by your anxieties. He will be there for you and care for you and when you're in his arms you'll realize that you finally feel home and everything will be okay. Love will win, because love always wins.
So on my winter break I got off on a little bit of an obsession with Christina Perri, who is an amazing artist and this is my absolute favorite song on her album, "Lovestrong" and it's called "Distance". It's a really beautiful song and one I think will speak to a lot of people.
You can find the lyrics here. As far as Christina's inspiration for the song, she has said this:
"I wrote it about being in love with someone and not being able to tell them. All of my songs are so specific. They're a story in my life or something I went through which I pull from. I wrote this about the summer of 2010. I fell in love with someone, and we had to work pretty closely together. I had to pretend I didn't like him which was the hardest thing for me because I'm not good at lying [Laughs]. The song is about the feelings and swimming in that kind of tension when you're around someone and trying to keep it cool. That's what it means for me. Instead of telling him I loved him, I wrote it to him in a song. That's where I go."
So the story of the song here starts off as she is waking up with this person and she wakes up before him. She realizes that she loves him but doesn't know if he feels the same way. Sometimes she wishes that they didn't ever see each other because she thinks maybe it'd be easier that way. And she mentions that he has all different names for what is happening between them but she is afraid to say how she really feels and tell him she's in love and she thinks maybe he is too. She's scared to take things faster than he is ready for because she doesn't want to lose him but she can't help the way she feels. And she wants to know how much longer they can go on with neither of them saying how they really feel.
She talks about how when she is near him, it's hard for her to even breathe. And she is afraid that maybe he knows how she feels and that maybe he sees it but doesn't return the feeling. But she still gives him every part of her, and loves him unconditionally, hoping he does the same. And she just keeps waiting for him to say how he really feels and realize how amazing they could be together, and until then she will just keep things the way they are.
This is a rather complicated subject. Because honestly things could go many different ways in this situation. You could admit how you feel and scare him away but in that instance, he isn't worth your love if he's going to be scared by it. You could keep quiet and miss out on something potentially amazing. You could say how you feel and get the same response from him and have something amazing. Like I said, it could go many different ways. No matter what happens I think that if you're in this situation you should say how you feel and if it's meant to be then it's meant to be. There is nothing you can do to change fate. If you just accept that, everything will be fine.
Well I think it's safe to say that I am definitely in a phase of being obsessed with Motionless In White, Bring Me The Horizon and Pierce the Veil. So this week it's Motionless. This song is off of their "Creatures" album although the song was originally released under the title "Bananamontana" on the album "When Love Met Destruction". Then they changed the lyrics a tiny bit along with the title and re-released it on "Creatures".
Chris has commented on this song, saying:
This is a song we recorded for an album which never officially got released. It was titled Banamontana. The songs, however, did leak online and this is one that I never expected people to like. But they did. Some friends who aren't fans of our music actually told me they love this song, which was crazy to me because I wasn't such a huge fan of it. We then found out over the years that a lot of people really like the Bananamontana version, so we re-recorded it to be an "official” version.
Well I think it's time to look at the lyrics. You can find them here as usual. So here's how I see this song, you have to start with some background. I think he found a girl he was really in love with and she suffered from very very severe depression. It affected him a lot and made him depressed but he still loved her and wanted her to be better but eventually she left him. So now he is alone and he is even more depressed because of it. In the first line he is saying that he is jealous of all the people in the city that go out at night and get to see this girl who is acting happy in that time. She goes out and parties and he's just keeping himself holed up in his house and he doesn't even know what to do without her. She became like a part of him and so nothing else seems to matter anymore. That's why "outside it looks like rain". He feels so hopeless that he wants to just end it all. And he knows that there is nothing he can do to help her, that she has to figure things out on her own. But that doesn't mean he doesn't want to try. And I think that even as much as she has hurt herself and him, that he still loves her and still thinks that she is beautiful even though she is lost in herself and her own pain.
Then he talks about himself a little bit... He decides he is going to end his life by candlelight so he can see some beauty before he goes and compares the wax dripping down the melting candle to his own blood dripping from his skin. Then he goes and he talks about their relationship how he had once thought it was romantic and how he then thought once she left that romance does not exist anymore and that there is only lust in this world. This line makes me think that perhaps she cheated on him. He makes the statement "You are the water in my lungs" and I think that really conveys his feelings- he is drowning in this girl. She (even while gone) is suffocating him. She is what is killing him. They have lost everything between them and maybe they've both even gone a little crazy... but the worst part is that they're alone now.
Well I think my message here are these two things: nothing lasts forever and no one is worth killing yourself over. You have to know that every relationship has one of two outcomes- you either break up or get married. And even when you do get married there is still the possibility of breaking up and even if you don't, death is an inevitability. And then also realize that there is someone out there for everyone, so don't give up the possibility of a future even brighter than your present just because of one person. Life is an unending roller coaster and there will always be ups and downs, so just because you're in a down, don't give up on the fact that an up will come soon.
Love to all,
-Autumn the Music Girl
I can't believe I haven't talked about Pierce the Veil yet! Pierce the Veil is an American Post-Hardcore band that was formed by Mike and Vic Fuentes in San Diego, California. They have three albums and this song, "Caraphernelia" is from their second album, "Selfish Machines".
About this song, Vic Fuentes has said:
"I've always been obsessed with happy songs that have morbid lyrics.
Lyrically, this song is one of the darkest I've ever written. It's about
being obsessed with someone to the point where you're hurting yourself.
A lot of it is written almost like a suicide note meant to be found by
the one you love. It's completely crazy and extreme, but it's also
comforting to say out loud the things you're thinking sometimes."
I think that it's time now to do the lyric analysis! Click here to go to the lyrics. So I think this song starts off when he is first deciding to let this girl go after she broke his heart. He sees her again and maybe she's trying to make him feel bad for breaking up with her but he tells her that he's over her and nothing she does or says will affect him anymore. But this isn't really true. It's just what he tells himself. But he has been really hurt by her, which is obvious by the line "Licking your fingers like you're done and you've decided there is so much more than me". But he can't help having feelings for her, so much it makes him shake. The line about the gun makes me think that he wants to kill himself because he doesn't want to deal with this anymore and the line about his heart says that no matter what he tells himself or anyone else, this girl is still his only reason to live.
With the chorus he's saying that he wants to forget about her and move on but he doesn't believe that he can even though it hurts him. She will remain in his life forever even if it hurts and he doesn't want her to. And even if they did fix things, it would never be the same, so why bother? Then he goes on to sort of describe her characteristics- she's heartless and selfish. Then he compares her to an animal, killing her prey (which are men). She just gobbles up men and moves on. Perhaps even in this relationship he had really treated her well and given her lots of gifts, including a necklace, and she never appreciated them and now he is taking them back. The last line of this verse makes us think that this girl was a huge part of his life and that he had even talked to his mom about her and that maybe he was going to propose. Then he repeats his feelings in the chorus and in this little bridge part he is talking to her new boyfriend after seeing them together and he is begging to him to just give her back and that she is like a drug to him since he can't afford medication so she is the only thing that "fixes" him. The line about "collide invisible lips like a shadow on the wall" suggests that he wants to kiss her again even if it's in secret.
But she completely rejects him and he is heartbroken, thinking to himself "You can't just throw me away". Then it's like he has had enough time to think about how awfully she treated him and he decides that he is finally ready to let go of her and he doesn't even want to try anymore and he can learn to be okay by himself.
so I guess my message here is that in this situation, I hope you come to the same conclusion as he did in this song. When someone isn't treating you well, no matter how hard it may be at first, you have to let go. You WILL be okay. In fact, you'll be better off! So just... let go.
Love to all,
-Autumn the Music Girl
Since it's been so wintry out I thought I would write about this beautiful song by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson called "Winter Song". I absolutely love this song and actually am singing it at a performance on December 19th and may even make this my first cover on YouTube which I'll be hopefully starting soon.
So as usual you can find the lyrics here. So as you can see it starts off with a bunch of "bum"s and I think that is basically setting the sort of "heartbeat" for the song. The first stanza of the first verse is really about that second line, "The storm is coming soon". And since this song is about a relationship, I assume that means she can tell that something bad is going to happen soon. She can feel it coming. In the second stanza she talks about how she hopes she can get him back. she hopes she can just talk to him and things will be okay and he will come back to her instead of leaving. And then she wonders if their love is still alive. Then she goes on to talk (as if she is talking to him) about what other people have told her. She tells him that they (her friends and family and such) have all told her that they are too far gone and that there is no way to fix them. But she still asks herself if there is something there.
And then comes the part where she realizes that everyone else is right. And things have gone cold between them and everything feels wrong now that he really is gone. But then she feels that heartbeat again and she starts to have hope. She reaches out to him hoping to get a response and she does but things aren't the same. It's still winter in their relationship. But she hopes that her love will be enough to bring him back. But in the end she is still constantly questioning... "Is love alive?"
I think this is a rather profound song. It has a much deeper meaning than most people think, at least.
I take a few things from this song- first, I think that if you feel a storm coming you need to be proactive. Talk to the person and if you can tell that there is no saving things, then as hard as it may be, get out. Second, it's okay to have hope but don't be tied down by it. I think everyone who is left always has hope that the person will come back. But it's not something you should hold on to forever. At some point you have to accept that they don't want you in their life, but you know what? It's their loss. And third, I think if you are wondering whether or not there is anything between you and another person, you should really ask yourself if you have feelings and most likely you don't. I find that if you are questioning something about how you feel, the answer is most often negative. But once you discover that, you're free. And you no longer have to question and feel like you're walking on eggshells.
So free yourself... before you're trapped in winter forever.
Love to all,
-Autumn the Music Girl
I decided to do another Motionless In White song because I just love them. This song is "Black Damask" from the "Infamous" album. It's the first song on the album and though it has never been released as a single, it's one of my favorites from the album.
Let's get started on the lyrics because this is kind of a lengthy song. You can find the words here. First he talks about himself and another person (we don't know who yet) but he is saying that he has this horrid black heart even if this person has "ice in (their) lungs". Then he makes a comment about the state of our world and our society, we all want to live this elegant life with this nice house and nice things but we also all want to do things that will prove to be destructive in the end in one way or another. And then I think he goes to talk about a relationship that is dead. It's basically saying that the relationship he is in is either dead or dying and he doesn't know what to do.
And that's basically what the song is about. The death of a relationship and how difficult that is when you don't want to let go. He feels cursed to always have things like this happen to him and it gets to the chorus where he just can't stop thinking about it and he keeps himself up at night, to where he realizes that not only has he been lying to himself but so has she and they've both been lying to each other thinking that everything will be okay. But it won't. He is finally realizing it and so everything he once knew becomes unfamiliar- even her. I think she was lying to him and he finally saw through it and realized she was not the person he thought she was, which is where the lines "Now what have you become? You once felt like home; Now a ghost in the fog." and ""Miss Cadaverous", show me who you really fucking are" come into play. And again it talks about how this relationship is just dead but for some reason they're both just holding on and in the end it's only hurting them both more. I really think the line "Though it doesn't beat it breaks" is beautiful because I know I've felt that way before and I'm sure I'm not the only one. When you don't feel anything but somehow you're still hurting.
And then he has this line where you can tell he just decides to end it. He realizes that the whole thing has just been a mistake and he's just done. He's going to just "burn it fucking down". And then I love the part where he says "Now go back to the start, I still hear her voice but she's lost in the fog". I have always found it interesting that when a relationship ends (most of the time) that the people say "Oh, we can be just friends, right?" and in the end you always just go back to the way life was before you knew each other. You become just awkward familiar strangers. I think that's kind of what this line is conveying. That feeling of knowing someone who isn't really a part of your life, they're just lost in the fog of the rest of the world. Then I like what he goes on to say about this girl. Honestly there are too many girls out there who are insecure and lonely and they think that they can just use a guy to make themselves feel better and it's not okay. It just hurts everyone involved. That's what this girl did. She didn't really love him she just used his love to make herself feel better.
So I have a few messages to deliver here...
If you can feel in your relationship that something isn't right but you
can't seem to let go for whatever reason, stop. You're just hurting
yourself and the other person by continuing to build your web of lies
that you still want to have a relationship with this person and you're
not doing yourself any favors by believing it if that is what the other
person is doing to you. You need to just let go- "right here, right now,
burn it fucking down"
If you are just using a guy to make yourself feel or "look" better, stop that too! It's not fair to him first of all and second of all no guy is going to actually make you feel better about yourself. You can't just use love as a way to solve all your problems. It can't fix what's in your heart. You can't love someone else truly if you don't love yourself and it isn't fair to you to make yourself think that you can. In the end everything will just break apart and you'll feel awful again and you won't know what to do without a guy by your side. You can't let yourself become one of those girls who can't stand to be on her own because in the end you'll get used, too. It becomes a vicious cycle and you have to learn to stand on your own two feet and love and accept yourself. Because if you don't love you, how can you expect someone else to?
So that's my rant for this evening. I hope you take what I have said to heart for those of you who need to. And enjoy the song.
So I have been in kind of a weird mood today and I thought I would dive into something a little out of the ordinary- not in style of music but in message. I'm talking about the song "Imaginary" by Evanescence. "Imaginary" is from their first album, "Fallen". This song was never released as a single but I still love it.
Let's go ahead into the lyric analysis. You can find the lyrics here. As the song begins you sort of get this sense of being inside Amy's dream world. I think that the "screaming alarm clocks" represent people who try to get her to wake up from being inside her own mind, just as the monsters who are calling her name. And she doesn't want to leave, which is why she is lingering in the doorway. The way she puts it makes it seem almost childlike which would very much fit with the song. And when you listen to the song the way she says "let me stay" seems almost like a child throwing a fit because little kids never want to stop pretending or grow up and face reality. And then she goes on to describe this imaginary world of hers. The second verse here is my personal favorite. It really explains how this world of hers came to be. The world is full of "rampant chaos" and she knows that very well. Basically, she decided that she wasn't interested in dealing with the things that go on in the world and she has escaped into her own dreamed up world where everything is better.Then she goes on to describe how her world was before she created this imaginary place- she had insomnia and possible panic attacks in the middle of the night and she just longed for some sleep. And so she dreamed up this world to help her get to sleep at night.
I think, whether we admit it or not, we all do this at times in our lives. I think it comes in various forms, however. Sometimes we all do things to try and escape reality because we don't want to deal with it. But unfortunately, you can't stay in that state forever. Because no matter what, life is always going to throw challenges your way and you have to face them one way or another. So as lovely as your imaginary world may be, you have to get up and face the day at some point. But challenges are a natural part of life and how you deal with them shapes who you are and you will become a stronger person for overcoming them. So don't see it as some horrible thing that you are dealing with alone- it happens to each and every one of us.
Love to all,
-Autumn the Music Girl
So I'm back with more Bring Me The Horizon! This is also off of the newest album, Sempiternal. It's the last track on the regular CD and it's one of my favorites- this is "Hospital For Souls".
Here are the lyrics so you can follow along. This first part is spoken which I think adds a lot of depth to the song considering how really deep the words are. It's a rather profound little paragraph and it really sets the stage for the rest of the song. It's all about depression really and how hard it is to get out of and how it really feels when you're super depressed. Every day it's like there is no purpose to anything and when you're so depressed you are contemplating suicide, the days really are "a death wish". All you do is look for a way out of everything and you don't want to do anything. You lose interest in everything that once mattered. You feel completely powerless to do anything to help yourself. Sometimes you think about going to some group therapy or even some AA meeting or something if you've decided to self-medicate thinking it will help but then you just sit there because you don't want to admit what's wrong. It's a war every day and even the tiniest raised voice or angry look can make you burst into tears because you're that fragile. All you can think about is how messed up and worthless you are. And I love the analogy of life he gives here to an "empty staircase" because truly our lives are our own so we all really go through life alone. It especially feels like that when you have depression. You feel alone and it's like everyone around you disappears.
I think this picture does a really good job of explaining how depression really feels and what it is. Then after explaining how it feels he goes on to say how nobody really wants to die. Sure there are people out there who don't fear death but it doesn't mean they want it. And people who are so depressed that they think of suicide... they don't really want to die either. They just want the pain and the numbness to stop. And unfortunately that's all they can see as a way out. And there seems to them to be no reason to live. There's just this emptiness in everything- nothing seems enjoyable or worth doing anymore and everything seems pointless and useless including yourself. And there is so much pain in your heart and you've had to numb yourself against so much that it feels like you've died a thousand times over
And really, you'd do anything just to feel alive again. Then he talks about how often people when you're depressed don't try to help they just sort of let you be eaten alive by the flames burning inside you and then you're consumed before anyone can blink an eye.
Then he talks about how people (mostly therapists and nurses and such) will ask you things like how you are on a scale of 1-10, one being the lowest you've ever felt and 10 being the best you've ever felt. But the problem is most of the time you don't really know how you feel because you just feel numb so that's a really hard question to answer. Then there's always "Do you want to talk about it?" and another problem is that most often you don't because you feel so alone you wonder to yourself, "How could anyone possibly understand?"
And then there's the fact that most people who get really depressed do things like cut and skip meals. Most people think that things like this are stupid and petty and are just someone trying to get attention. I mean, sure, there are people out there who do do these things just for attention. But in all honesty thest are things that truly depressed people do to keep from doing something worse. I'm not saying self harm is good at ALL. I'm just saying I have been there and I'll tell you what goes through your head. You have all this sadness and anger and pain building up and building up and it's like you're walking blindfolded into the ocean. You just keep getting deeper and deeper into the water and you're drowning and you're screaming and crying but no one can hear you and then all of a sudden someone comes and pulls you out. That's what cutting feels like in this state of mind. It's the most relief you can possibly imagine. It's not good and it doesn't really solve anything but it's not about wanting to kill yourself as most people think. It's just a relief from everything inside.
Oli ends the song by repeating the words "Hold me close, don't let go, watch me burn" and ending with the bit about the hospital for souls. And really I think that music like this is sort of like a hospital for the soul because it lets people in this state of mind know that they're not alone and that it does get better eventually. When you're this depressed it often doesn't seem like it'll get better and it often feels like you are the only person in the whole universe who feels the way you do. And it isn't true. There are millions of people battling depression every day. So just hold on and let yourself go to your own hospital for your soul and find one thing that makes you even remotely happy. You then have reason to live. Don't lose hope <3
I bet you all thought I'd be writing about metal and stuff forever... but NOPE! I actually just heard this song this weekend and it's really speaking to me. This is off of Katy Perry's new album, Prism, and the song is "Unconditionally".
Katy has actually talked about her inspiration for this song and a lot of it is for her boyfriend, John Mayer (yes, they are still together). He has a bad reputation but if she can learn to love him despite all that then I'm all for it. Her other inspiration for this was a trip she took to Africa.
‘Unconditionally’ was influenced by my boyfriend and also really influenced by Africa. I went to Madagascar and did a UNICEF trip that changed my life and gave me this song. It’s just a simple message about loving someone and accepting them and kind of driving at you don’t have to be so self-conscious, you don’t have to fear, because essentially, everybody has their stuff. Nobody comes stuff-free. Everybody has their things and you’re never going to be perfect, and accepting that and understanding that, especially in a relationship, it makes room for a real, genuine kind of love.”
So now that you have an idea of where Katy is coming from on this song, let's go look at the lyrics, which you can find here.
So in this first verse she talks about how her relationship is progressing to the point where all of his insecurities and faults and past mistakes are coming out but how that doesn't really faze her .For right now I'm going to just skip on to the next verse, which talks more about how she just accepts him for who he is in this moment. I think in any relationship this is something that's really important. I mean, it's important to talk about the past but it's also important to not judge or be judged for it. And she knows that in any relationship there are good days and bad days and you just have to roll with those. And then she lets him know that she'd do anything for him because she loves him.
And then in the bridge she tells him go just let go of his past and open up his heart and just love her and let her love him. For some people it's really hard to let another person in because they've been hurt a lot and let down a lot. And then she says that "Acceptance is the key to be, to be truly free" and I think this is a really profound statement because it is a key component to a successful relationship but at the same time, you can't be too accepting. You can't just let someone get away with whatever they want, but at the same time, you don't want to be one of those people who can never forgive anyone for anything. But the main message of this song is just to love unconditionally and that that is the only way to truly have a successful relationship- one that will last for a lifetime. It's the kind of love a parent has to a child, where no matter what you do, though it can cause tension and make you mad, you will always love that person. It's the message that no matter what, nothing will change how you feel about that person. And that, my friends, is true and genuine and 100% real love.
So accept one another and don't worry about what has happened in the past. Focus on now and learn to love unconditionally. Because that is real love and there is a freedom in that that you can't find anywhere else.
Love to you all,
-Autumn the Music Girl
So this is kind of depressing, but we sometimes have to talk about depressing things because it is a part of life. This week I'm going to talk about the song "Missing" by Evanescence. This was released to radio as a single in 2004 though it was originally recorded in 2001-02, and originally released with "Bring Me to Life" on the commercial single but only in Australia and then it was included on the album "Anywhere But Home". Now the lead singer, Amy Lee, has voiced what this song's meaning is to her, saying:
"As far as if she got it right, I would say you always get it right. When it comes to music and art it’s always about how each individual interprets it. Some of our songs are self reflective but some of them are also story telling. For me that song was all about running away, but its poetry so please do take from it what you can."
but since this song is open to interpretation, I'm going to interpret it.
So look at the lyrics here. I guess it makes sense for this song to be about running away but to me it screams "suicide". It tells the story of a girl whose home life is pretty awful. Maybe she tries running away but is always brought back home. Her parents are either drunk or on drugs all the time and they don't take care of her or pay any attention to her and she just feels totally abandoned. The way the song is written it seems as though she is telling her story from beyond the grave- as though she has just ended her life and her parents haven't even noticed yet. And she wonders if maybe someday someone will miss her and realize what they are missing in their lives without her.She feels like they won't though- she is so depressed and hopeless and feels so rejected by the people who are supposed to love her that she thinks she is worthless and no one will miss her. And in the chorus she talks about her own sacrifice and how all she wanted was to know that she was loved, but she never ended up feeling that way. And in the second verse it repeats a lot but it also brings up this idea that who this song is talking about is some kind of self-medicated person. This means that they probably have some sort of trauma in their life and they don't know how to deal with it so in order to cope they turn to things like drugs or alcohol or even self harm. And she feels like she is lost and no matter how much she is hurting no one hears her and no one notices. And so she spent years perhaps harming herself because she too didn't know how to deal with feeling so abandoned and finally she ended her life, going to sleep for the last time and waking with no one, hence the last little verse.
So as you can see this song is really dark. And as sad as it is, I just want to say that suicide is never the answer. Even when you are in your darkest moments and you see no hope try to think of one thing to look forward to and if you can, there's still hope. It doesn't have to be big it just has to be something. Believe me, I have been in that place. Even when it seems like it will never get better, it will, I promise. If you have problems with your parents, know that it won't last forever because someday you won't have to live there anymore. If you have problems in a relationship and can't end it, believe in your own strength because you are strong. Nothing lasts forever and eventually whatever situation is causing you to have these thoughts will end and things will get better. And know that your life is worth more than whatever person or thing is making you want to end it. Everyone is unique and you will accomplish greatness. When someone is telling you (directly or indirectly) that you're worthless, you just need to shut them out because those are lies specifically designed to destroy you, so don't let them! Let it make you stronger and even more determined to prove them wrong. Because you're a star and you WILL prove them wrong.
So have hope and don't give up just yet. And know that you are not alone- because so many people have been exactly where you are and we have made it through. So will you. The storm will pass and the sun will come out, I promise.
So, yes I am doing another Motionless In White song and this is a tribute to my English class and my wonderful English teacher, Mr. Elkin! In class, we just finished reading Arthur Miller's "The Crucible". Fitting enough, this song is based off of that play. The song is off of the "Creatures" album and it's called "Abigail". For those of you who don't know, "The Crucible" is about the Salem witch trials and Abigail is a conniving seventeen year old girl who had sex with a married man who was about twice her age. And she's pretty much the first person who went around pointing fingers at "witches". So she started the whole thing. Now that you all know that, you will better understand the lyrics of this song and their references to this play.
So you can look at said lyrics here and follow along with me! This song is from the perspective of John Proctor who is the aforementioned adulterer. He is saying that she who in the play becomes revered as a saint is the only real witch, especially considering the fact that she drank blood as a charm to kill John Proctor's wife. And he is now being seen as a heretic because he hates Salem's pastor and therefore he doesn't go to church very often and when he is being accused of working with the devil he says (because of the corruption occurring in Salem) that "God is dead!". So in the first verse he wonders how Abigail could be so cruel as to sentence thirty-something people including him to death. Then he talks about how she is a "product of lust". I am of the mind that if John had never had his affair with Abigail, none of the deaths in the play would have occurred so that's what I think he is saying by her being a "product of lust"- everything she is doing is, as is said in the play, "A whore's vengence". Then he goes to mention the fact that John Proctor is eventually hung as the people of Salem watch and even cheer. And John had been a pretty upstanding citizen and hoped perhaps that the people would see the corruption happening when he was actually hung.
Then the second verse talks about how Abigail is truly the guilty one and makes reference to the death of another character in the play who was killed while the court officials tried to get him to give the name of someone who accused someone else. This murdered man was really old and refused to give up his loyalty and was killed by the crushing weight of stones that were placed upon his chest. He is telling Abigail in this verse that she is guilty and must confess her sins and that she will be condemned to hell for what she has caused. And then it has a few lines that John Proctor says in the play and talks about how they'll meet again in hell.
So I don't really know of a good moral here- maybe don't send a bunch of people to their death? That's never really a good thing. And don't lie because it gets you into a whole bunch of trouble even of you seem cool or something like that for whatever lie you tell because it won't end well. I hope you all enjoyed this and enjoy the song!
Love to all,
-Autumn the Music Girl
