I decided to do another Motionless In White song because I just love them. This song is "Black Damask" from the "Infamous" album. It's the first song on the album and though it has never been released as a single, it's one of my favorites from the album.
Let's get started on the lyrics because this is kind of a lengthy song. You can find the words here. First he talks about himself and another person (we don't know who yet) but he is saying that he has this horrid black heart even if this person has "ice in (their) lungs". Then he makes a comment about the state of our world and our society, we all want to live this elegant life with this nice house and nice things but we also all want to do things that will prove to be destructive in the end in one way or another. And then I think he goes to talk about a relationship that is dead. It's basically saying that the relationship he is in is either dead or dying and he doesn't know what to do.
And that's basically what the song is about. The death of a relationship and how difficult that is when you don't want to let go. He feels cursed to always have things like this happen to him and it gets to the chorus where he just can't stop thinking about it and he keeps himself up at night, to where he realizes that not only has he been lying to himself but so has she and they've both been lying to each other thinking that everything will be okay. But it won't. He is finally realizing it and so everything he once knew becomes unfamiliar- even her. I think she was lying to him and he finally saw through it and realized she was not the person he thought she was, which is where the lines "Now what have you become? You once felt like home; Now a ghost in the fog." and ""Miss Cadaverous", show me who you really fucking are" come into play. And again it talks about how this relationship is just dead but for some reason they're both just holding on and in the end it's only hurting them both more. I really think the line "Though it doesn't beat it breaks" is beautiful because I know I've felt that way before and I'm sure I'm not the only one. When you don't feel anything but somehow you're still hurting.
And then he has this line where you can tell he just decides to end it. He realizes that the whole thing has just been a mistake and he's just done. He's going to just "burn it fucking down". And then I love the part where he says "Now go back to the start, I still hear her voice but she's lost in the fog". I have always found it interesting that when a relationship ends (most of the time) that the people say "Oh, we can be just friends, right?" and in the end you always just go back to the way life was before you knew each other. You become just awkward familiar strangers. I think that's kind of what this line is conveying. That feeling of knowing someone who isn't really a part of your life, they're just lost in the fog of the rest of the world. Then I like what he goes on to say about this girl. Honestly there are too many girls out there who are insecure and lonely and they think that they can just use a guy to make themselves feel better and it's not okay. It just hurts everyone involved. That's what this girl did. She didn't really love him she just used his love to make herself feel better.
So I have a few messages to deliver here...
If you can feel in your relationship that something isn't right but you
can't seem to let go for whatever reason, stop. You're just hurting
yourself and the other person by continuing to build your web of lies
that you still want to have a relationship with this person and you're
not doing yourself any favors by believing it if that is what the other
person is doing to you. You need to just let go- "right here, right now,
burn it fucking down"
If you are just using a guy to make yourself feel or "look" better, stop that too! It's not fair to him first of all and second of all no guy is going to actually make you feel better about yourself. You can't just use love as a way to solve all your problems. It can't fix what's in your heart. You can't love someone else truly if you don't love yourself and it isn't fair to you to make yourself think that you can. In the end everything will just break apart and you'll feel awful again and you won't know what to do without a guy by your side. You can't let yourself become one of those girls who can't stand to be on her own because in the end you'll get used, too. It becomes a vicious cycle and you have to learn to stand on your own two feet and love and accept yourself. Because if you don't love you, how can you expect someone else to?
So that's my rant for this evening. I hope you take what I have said to heart for those of you who need to. And enjoy the song.
So I have been in kind of a weird mood today and I thought I would dive into something a little out of the ordinary- not in style of music but in message. I'm talking about the song "Imaginary" by Evanescence. "Imaginary" is from their first album, "Fallen". This song was never released as a single but I still love it.
Let's go ahead into the lyric analysis. You can find the lyrics here. As the song begins you sort of get this sense of being inside Amy's dream world. I think that the "screaming alarm clocks" represent people who try to get her to wake up from being inside her own mind, just as the monsters who are calling her name. And she doesn't want to leave, which is why she is lingering in the doorway. The way she puts it makes it seem almost childlike which would very much fit with the song. And when you listen to the song the way she says "let me stay" seems almost like a child throwing a fit because little kids never want to stop pretending or grow up and face reality. And then she goes on to describe this imaginary world of hers. The second verse here is my personal favorite. It really explains how this world of hers came to be. The world is full of "rampant chaos" and she knows that very well. Basically, she decided that she wasn't interested in dealing with the things that go on in the world and she has escaped into her own dreamed up world where everything is better.Then she goes on to describe how her world was before she created this imaginary place- she had insomnia and possible panic attacks in the middle of the night and she just longed for some sleep. And so she dreamed up this world to help her get to sleep at night.
I think, whether we admit it or not, we all do this at times in our lives. I think it comes in various forms, however. Sometimes we all do things to try and escape reality because we don't want to deal with it. But unfortunately, you can't stay in that state forever. Because no matter what, life is always going to throw challenges your way and you have to face them one way or another. So as lovely as your imaginary world may be, you have to get up and face the day at some point. But challenges are a natural part of life and how you deal with them shapes who you are and you will become a stronger person for overcoming them. So don't see it as some horrible thing that you are dealing with alone- it happens to each and every one of us.
Love to all,
-Autumn the Music Girl
So I'm back with more Bring Me The Horizon! This is also off of the newest album, Sempiternal. It's the last track on the regular CD and it's one of my favorites- this is "Hospital For Souls".
Here are the lyrics so you can follow along. This first part is spoken which I think adds a lot of depth to the song considering how really deep the words are. It's a rather profound little paragraph and it really sets the stage for the rest of the song. It's all about depression really and how hard it is to get out of and how it really feels when you're super depressed. Every day it's like there is no purpose to anything and when you're so depressed you are contemplating suicide, the days really are "a death wish". All you do is look for a way out of everything and you don't want to do anything. You lose interest in everything that once mattered. You feel completely powerless to do anything to help yourself. Sometimes you think about going to some group therapy or even some AA meeting or something if you've decided to self-medicate thinking it will help but then you just sit there because you don't want to admit what's wrong. It's a war every day and even the tiniest raised voice or angry look can make you burst into tears because you're that fragile. All you can think about is how messed up and worthless you are. And I love the analogy of life he gives here to an "empty staircase" because truly our lives are our own so we all really go through life alone. It especially feels like that when you have depression. You feel alone and it's like everyone around you disappears.
I think this picture does a really good job of explaining how depression really feels and what it is. Then after explaining how it feels he goes on to say how nobody really wants to die. Sure there are people out there who don't fear death but it doesn't mean they want it. And people who are so depressed that they think of suicide... they don't really want to die either. They just want the pain and the numbness to stop. And unfortunately that's all they can see as a way out. And there seems to them to be no reason to live. There's just this emptiness in everything- nothing seems enjoyable or worth doing anymore and everything seems pointless and useless including yourself. And there is so much pain in your heart and you've had to numb yourself against so much that it feels like you've died a thousand times over
And really, you'd do anything just to feel alive again. Then he talks about how often people when you're depressed don't try to help they just sort of let you be eaten alive by the flames burning inside you and then you're consumed before anyone can blink an eye.
Then he talks about how people (mostly therapists and nurses and such) will ask you things like how you are on a scale of 1-10, one being the lowest you've ever felt and 10 being the best you've ever felt. But the problem is most of the time you don't really know how you feel because you just feel numb so that's a really hard question to answer. Then there's always "Do you want to talk about it?" and another problem is that most often you don't because you feel so alone you wonder to yourself, "How could anyone possibly understand?"
And then there's the fact that most people who get really depressed do things like cut and skip meals. Most people think that things like this are stupid and petty and are just someone trying to get attention. I mean, sure, there are people out there who do do these things just for attention. But in all honesty thest are things that truly depressed people do to keep from doing something worse. I'm not saying self harm is good at ALL. I'm just saying I have been there and I'll tell you what goes through your head. You have all this sadness and anger and pain building up and building up and it's like you're walking blindfolded into the ocean. You just keep getting deeper and deeper into the water and you're drowning and you're screaming and crying but no one can hear you and then all of a sudden someone comes and pulls you out. That's what cutting feels like in this state of mind. It's the most relief you can possibly imagine. It's not good and it doesn't really solve anything but it's not about wanting to kill yourself as most people think. It's just a relief from everything inside.
Oli ends the song by repeating the words "Hold me close, don't let go, watch me burn" and ending with the bit about the hospital for souls. And really I think that music like this is sort of like a hospital for the soul because it lets people in this state of mind know that they're not alone and that it does get better eventually. When you're this depressed it often doesn't seem like it'll get better and it often feels like you are the only person in the whole universe who feels the way you do. And it isn't true. There are millions of people battling depression every day. So just hold on and let yourself go to your own hospital for your soul and find one thing that makes you even remotely happy. You then have reason to live. Don't lose hope <3
I bet you all thought I'd be writing about metal and stuff forever... but NOPE! I actually just heard this song this weekend and it's really speaking to me. This is off of Katy Perry's new album, Prism, and the song is "Unconditionally".
Katy has actually talked about her inspiration for this song and a lot of it is for her boyfriend, John Mayer (yes, they are still together). He has a bad reputation but if she can learn to love him despite all that then I'm all for it. Her other inspiration for this was a trip she took to Africa.
‘Unconditionally’ was influenced by my boyfriend and also really influenced by Africa. I went to Madagascar and did a UNICEF trip that changed my life and gave me this song. It’s just a simple message about loving someone and accepting them and kind of driving at you don’t have to be so self-conscious, you don’t have to fear, because essentially, everybody has their stuff. Nobody comes stuff-free. Everybody has their things and you’re never going to be perfect, and accepting that and understanding that, especially in a relationship, it makes room for a real, genuine kind of love.”
So now that you have an idea of where Katy is coming from on this song, let's go look at the lyrics, which you can find here.
So in this first verse she talks about how her relationship is progressing to the point where all of his insecurities and faults and past mistakes are coming out but how that doesn't really faze her .For right now I'm going to just skip on to the next verse, which talks more about how she just accepts him for who he is in this moment. I think in any relationship this is something that's really important. I mean, it's important to talk about the past but it's also important to not judge or be judged for it. And she knows that in any relationship there are good days and bad days and you just have to roll with those. And then she lets him know that she'd do anything for him because she loves him.
And then in the bridge she tells him go just let go of his past and open up his heart and just love her and let her love him. For some people it's really hard to let another person in because they've been hurt a lot and let down a lot. And then she says that "Acceptance is the key to be, to be truly free" and I think this is a really profound statement because it is a key component to a successful relationship but at the same time, you can't be too accepting. You can't just let someone get away with whatever they want, but at the same time, you don't want to be one of those people who can never forgive anyone for anything. But the main message of this song is just to love unconditionally and that that is the only way to truly have a successful relationship- one that will last for a lifetime. It's the kind of love a parent has to a child, where no matter what you do, though it can cause tension and make you mad, you will always love that person. It's the message that no matter what, nothing will change how you feel about that person. And that, my friends, is true and genuine and 100% real love.
So accept one another and don't worry about what has happened in the past. Focus on now and learn to love unconditionally. Because that is real love and there is a freedom in that that you can't find anywhere else.
Love to you all,
-Autumn the Music Girl
So this is kind of depressing, but we sometimes have to talk about depressing things because it is a part of life. This week I'm going to talk about the song "Missing" by Evanescence. This was released to radio as a single in 2004 though it was originally recorded in 2001-02, and originally released with "Bring Me to Life" on the commercial single but only in Australia and then it was included on the album "Anywhere But Home". Now the lead singer, Amy Lee, has voiced what this song's meaning is to her, saying:
"As far as if she got it right, I would say you always get it right. When it comes to music and art it’s always about how each individual interprets it. Some of our songs are self reflective but some of them are also story telling. For me that song was all about running away, but its poetry so please do take from it what you can."
but since this song is open to interpretation, I'm going to interpret it.
So look at the lyrics here. I guess it makes sense for this song to be about running away but to me it screams "suicide". It tells the story of a girl whose home life is pretty awful. Maybe she tries running away but is always brought back home. Her parents are either drunk or on drugs all the time and they don't take care of her or pay any attention to her and she just feels totally abandoned. The way the song is written it seems as though she is telling her story from beyond the grave- as though she has just ended her life and her parents haven't even noticed yet. And she wonders if maybe someday someone will miss her and realize what they are missing in their lives without her.She feels like they won't though- she is so depressed and hopeless and feels so rejected by the people who are supposed to love her that she thinks she is worthless and no one will miss her. And in the chorus she talks about her own sacrifice and how all she wanted was to know that she was loved, but she never ended up feeling that way. And in the second verse it repeats a lot but it also brings up this idea that who this song is talking about is some kind of self-medicated person. This means that they probably have some sort of trauma in their life and they don't know how to deal with it so in order to cope they turn to things like drugs or alcohol or even self harm. And she feels like she is lost and no matter how much she is hurting no one hears her and no one notices. And so she spent years perhaps harming herself because she too didn't know how to deal with feeling so abandoned and finally she ended her life, going to sleep for the last time and waking with no one, hence the last little verse.
So as you can see this song is really dark. And as sad as it is, I just want to say that suicide is never the answer. Even when you are in your darkest moments and you see no hope try to think of one thing to look forward to and if you can, there's still hope. It doesn't have to be big it just has to be something. Believe me, I have been in that place. Even when it seems like it will never get better, it will, I promise. If you have problems with your parents, know that it won't last forever because someday you won't have to live there anymore. If you have problems in a relationship and can't end it, believe in your own strength because you are strong. Nothing lasts forever and eventually whatever situation is causing you to have these thoughts will end and things will get better. And know that your life is worth more than whatever person or thing is making you want to end it. Everyone is unique and you will accomplish greatness. When someone is telling you (directly or indirectly) that you're worthless, you just need to shut them out because those are lies specifically designed to destroy you, so don't let them! Let it make you stronger and even more determined to prove them wrong. Because you're a star and you WILL prove them wrong.
So have hope and don't give up just yet. And know that you are not alone- because so many people have been exactly where you are and we have made it through. So will you. The storm will pass and the sun will come out, I promise.
So, yes I am doing another Motionless In White song and this is a tribute to my English class and my wonderful English teacher, Mr. Elkin! In class, we just finished reading Arthur Miller's "The Crucible". Fitting enough, this song is based off of that play. The song is off of the "Creatures" album and it's called "Abigail". For those of you who don't know, "The Crucible" is about the Salem witch trials and Abigail is a conniving seventeen year old girl who had sex with a married man who was about twice her age. And she's pretty much the first person who went around pointing fingers at "witches". So she started the whole thing. Now that you all know that, you will better understand the lyrics of this song and their references to this play.
So you can look at said lyrics here and follow along with me! This song is from the perspective of John Proctor who is the aforementioned adulterer. He is saying that she who in the play becomes revered as a saint is the only real witch, especially considering the fact that she drank blood as a charm to kill John Proctor's wife. And he is now being seen as a heretic because he hates Salem's pastor and therefore he doesn't go to church very often and when he is being accused of working with the devil he says (because of the corruption occurring in Salem) that "God is dead!". So in the first verse he wonders how Abigail could be so cruel as to sentence thirty-something people including him to death. Then he talks about how she is a "product of lust". I am of the mind that if John had never had his affair with Abigail, none of the deaths in the play would have occurred so that's what I think he is saying by her being a "product of lust"- everything she is doing is, as is said in the play, "A whore's vengence". Then he goes to mention the fact that John Proctor is eventually hung as the people of Salem watch and even cheer. And John had been a pretty upstanding citizen and hoped perhaps that the people would see the corruption happening when he was actually hung.
Then the second verse talks about how Abigail is truly the guilty one and makes reference to the death of another character in the play who was killed while the court officials tried to get him to give the name of someone who accused someone else. This murdered man was really old and refused to give up his loyalty and was killed by the crushing weight of stones that were placed upon his chest. He is telling Abigail in this verse that she is guilty and must confess her sins and that she will be condemned to hell for what she has caused. And then it has a few lines that John Proctor says in the play and talks about how they'll meet again in hell.
So I don't really know of a good moral here- maybe don't send a bunch of people to their death? That's never really a good thing. And don't lie because it gets you into a whole bunch of trouble even of you seem cool or something like that for whatever lie you tell because it won't end well. I hope you all enjoyed this and enjoy the song!
Love to all,
-Autumn the Music Girl
So I thought I'd take a moment to write about a song that talks about the state of our beloved country. Some people may be upset with me about this but I feel like I need to write about it. So I'm going to talk about another Motionless In White song, "America".
"A-M-E-R-I-C-A" was the third single to be released from the "Infamous" album on April 23, 2013. The music video was released on June 3rd and was directed by Shawn "Clown" Crahan of Slipknot, which I think is really cool. So let's just get started on the lyrics!
You can follow along here but for the most part I'll be taking this line by line so you may not have to. The very first line is sort of a dig at our healthcare- it seems these days that people think taking some pill is going to solve all of your problems in life. Let me tell you right now that this is NOT TRUE. And I'm talking about taking pills for all sorts of things- weight loss, hair growth, or any actual medication. Now I understand that sometimes you can't get better without taking some sort of medication but most often with things like mental disorders (depression, anxiety, etc.) you can just work that stuff out without being hooked on some sort of pill for the rest of your life. These things change who you are so instead of trying to be someone else, why can't we just love we are with all of our faults?
The second line of this song talks about our economy. Things are tight today- everyone knows that. So a lot of people have to do horrid things just to get by. Selling drugs, selling themselves, or any number of other things. A lot of people in this country are struggling to survive. Then he just mentions piracy which although it happens all the time and is stealing from really talented people (Like Motionless in White)who deserve to be paid for what they do, it's not really the biggest issue this country is facing. And for some reason it's become a huge deal to the government when their time could be spend working on so many other more important issues. Now let's talk about Hollywood. Have you ever noticed how much publicity a person gets for murdering a celebrity or something like that? Well even though it's they go to jail, now everyone knows their name and they'll probably even get a movie made about what they did! So even thought they get time in jail, they also get a lot of fame. So in a way it sort of evens out for them.
Chris goes on to talk about how he sees all of this and to him it's "one big nightmare". Then he talks about how "the ugly truth has a model face". When I think of this I think of fashion magazines or fashion shows.
This, my friends this the ugly truth. These "gorgeous models" don't eat! And yet our society pushes us to be like them. That skinny and tan and blonde. They think we should all look like these girls
and that there's something wrong with you if you don't! And we make just total saints out of people like Britney Spears and Ke$ha and Rhianna and what do they all sing about? Sex and getting drunk and partying. And that's almost ALL they sing about. And yet millions of little girls in this country worship them! Why can't we see through all the lies and the pressures of this society and just be who we are and accept one another? The second verse is all pretty obvious. We're all pretty much living paycheck to paycheck these days and as far as food is concerned most people just buy into cheap and fast food. Well you are what you eat... why do you think America has the highest obesity rate? And now with social media just about everyone wants everyone else to know everything that's going on in their lives. We spend so much time communicating electronically instead of building REAL relationships with REAL people face to face. And when all of us are struggling the people at the top are all living luxuriously and buying themselves new and fancier cars and such. Now how fair is that?
I think that when you really take a look at the state of this country you realize that our society is really pretty messed up. From the pressures of the press to the government, there is corruption everywhere. WE can stop it though. We can stand up to society and its pressures. WE can make a difference. You don't need some pills that will "change your life", YOU can change your life. You don't need to look like the people on the covers of magazines, you just need to look like YOU! Because no matter what, you're beautiful. So live life and be yourself and stand up for yourself and your beliefs. Because THAT is what America should be about.
Love to you all,
-Autumn the Music Girl
